Dear Mr. E. James Beale,
I came across your Incomplete List of Reasons the Mets are Douchebags today via Ballhype.com. I must say it is the first piece of Met-bashing literature that has left me vexed, and believe me, I have read my fair share. On behalf of Mets fans, I am here to provide an annotated response to your explanation why we "provoke the Phillies’ ire" as you so put it. It would only be fair for an actual fan of the "lowly two-time consecutive NL East runners-up" to provide your readership with rebuttal to your conjecture:
"Last year, Mets star third baseman David Wright — public face of the MLB '07: The Show video game, Vitamin Water sports drinks and Fathead posters — made several public statements about how he'd be cutting back on 'endorsement deals and promotional activities,' to focus on the game. Two weeks later, he made his second visit to the Late Show with David Letterman. To this day, athletepromotions.com informs me I can book Wright for 'Corporate Appearances, Endorsements, Speaking & Autograph Signings.'"
Now you can’t lead off with something like this as it has nothing to do with Mets douchebaggery. Being in the largest sports market in the country, athletes from New York are privy to many more sponsorship opportunities than those say, in the fourth largest are. Who is to say Wright did not cut back on endorsement deals and promotional activities? As for athletepromotions.com – they have informed me that MLB '08: The Show cover boy Ryan Howard is able to be booked for corporate appearances, endorsements, speaking & autograph signings as well…that is after he’s done chowing down on some Subway with Jared Fogle at a Dick’s Sporting Goods.
"This year, the Mets are moving into a new, state-of-the-art stadium. Back in 2006, they sold the naming rights for the park to Citigroup — which, as you know, recently received a large federal bailout and had to lay off 50,000 people. Despite public pressure to abandon the deal, the $400 million agreement is being honored — and the American taxpayer is the not-so-proud backer of 'Citi Field.' I want my money back."
When the deal was made in 2006, Citigroup stock was hovering around 49 points per share as opposed to the 2 points it’s standing at now. I’m not sure if you have ever signed a contract before, but here’s the gist of what happens when you do: whatever arranged terms one agrees to with their signature, they are obligated to uphold said accordance for the duration of the contract lest there be a clause stating otherwise. I’m sure the Wilpon’s were as thrilled about the bad press they received from this, as Alex Rodriguez was about a certain Selena Roberts report.
"Last year, Mets then-manager Willie Randolph, one of Major League Baseball's true good guys, was flown out to the West Coast with his team only to be fired upon arrival, at 3:30 a.m. EST. The reason he wasn't told back home? The organization wanted to avoid making the next day's headlines, a goal they decided was more important than decency; before the trip, the manager had reportedly asked not to be let go in the midst of a road trip. Classy."
What is your basis for saying the reason he wasn’t told back home was to avoid headlines? Are you friends with Freddy and Jeff? Did they let you in on something they didn’t tell us? I’m sure you’re well aware of the instantaneous nature of the internet. No matter where or when something happens, it’s going up online as soon as someone can type it out. Once that happens, it is fodder for pundits to rip apart on 24 hour networks. Was it bad timing? Sure, that I’ll give you. I am however certain that "Willie Watch" was making headlines weeks and months before the firing. Avoiding one more late edition front page was not the reason he wasn’t fired in New York.
"Look, Mets fans, I understand that when you're visiting an opposing ballpark, you want to show up with your hometown colors. There's something admirable about trying to offset a sea of red with dots of blue and orange. (While we're here: Blue and orange? You're supposed to be a Major League Baseball franchise, not fucking Sea World.) It's even OK to cheer on your team at an opponent's park. But it's entirely another thing to sing your nonsensical "Jose, Jose, Jose, Jose" chant every time there's a routine grounder to short. Thanks, buddy, we get it, you're a douche bag. We got it three innings ago. It's like these morons all met on a message board for assholes with new haircuts, typing aggressively at each other, overusing the words "dude" and misspelling the word "bro," until they got bored and decided to head to Philly for the night."
It seems as though you may suffer from slight red-green colorblindness, along with being historically inaccurate. The New York Metropolitans organization formed in 1962, two years prior to the opening of the first SeaWorld in San Diego. Our colors are blue and orange, and those of Sea World are blue and yellow.
As far as Mets fans infiltrating CBP goes, I have heard more E-A-G-L-E-S chants during Sunday games at Shea than I can count over the years. At least Met fans cheer for a team that is actually on the field when at a visiting park.
"It takes a special kind of stupid to embrace the Mets. The team came later than the Yankees and historically have been far worse. The only possible reasons for Mets fandom are: 1) You're a full-out hater who hates your hometown team because you're a jerk; 2) You love misery and decided to opt-in at the first chance; or 3) Your grandfather rooted for the Dodgers/Giants. The Dodgers and Giants, huh? It's a real shame those franchises folded. Mets fans are confused, and not confused in the fun way, either."
Name calling? False facts? How immature. I really feel no need to dignify points one and two with refutation. As for part three, neither of those organizations folded. They moved to California with the promise of new ballparks from government officials – something Robert Moses wouldn’t give them in New York.
"All Mets fans break out their Yankees caps in October."
I see you’re also a Braves fan.
"Mets prospects enjoy an absurd amount of hype. Remember Paul Wilson? Alex Escobar? Rey Ordoñez? Bill Pulpisher? Ed Yarnall? Lastings Milledge? You wouldn't if they played anywhere but New York, which treats every one of its new prospects like the second coming of Howard Johnson."
Yes the Mets are known to hype up their prospects. They are also known to rush them through the farm system and trade them for aging talent. That goes for most big market teams. Hyping prospects has also been known to increase their value – which you can then package for better pieces (Phillies fans – see Josh Outman).
"The current team won't shut its mouth about how its offseason additions were far superior to the Phils'. I mean, seriously? The Phillies added a trophy. That trumps a guy named "J.J." any day."
I’m yet to read the quote where a player on the current team said outright our off season additions were superior to those of the Phillies. Please feel free to send me a link. As for the addition to your trophy case, the current team has not stopped congratulating you when questioned about it by the media. Seriously.
"The Mets' last championship team was basically an advertisement for wasted talent. As a sports fan I feel deprived that Darryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden — two sure-fire Hall of Famers whose careers were derailed by excess — never got their day in the sun. Would they have flamed out as quickly playing for the Royals? Maybe, but they didn't have a chance on the Mets."
The ’86 Mets have gone down as one of the greatest championship teams in all of sports (much like the ’85 Bears of the NFL and the Celtics teams of the ‘60s). As a sports fan you should be thankful that the team existed in the first place. On behalf of the Mets fans everywhere, you’re welcome.
"That stupid dilapidated apple. Why couldn't it die like the rest of Shea?"
Unfortunately for you, once again “The Magic Is Back!” Every ballpark has its kitsch factor and that just happens to be ours. You have you’re Liberty Bell, we have our Apple.
"Mets announcer Keith Hernandez's nonstop personal anecdotes from his playing days. We get it — once upon a time you were Keith Hernandez. Now you're just an old misogynist trying to remain relevant at the expense of actually calling the game."
The SNY broadcasting team has won Emmys. As for Keith’s portion of a broadcast, he would be the color commentator. It is his job to be anecdotal. If you would like to listen to the play-by-play, you’re paying attention to the wrong guy in the booth. See Gary Cohen.
"Mr. Met, New York's big-headed mascot, looks like a gum ball on steroids. The fact that there are Mets fans who refer to that cross-eyed goon as "beloved" does not speak well for their instincts or intelligence."
If a "Phanatic" speaks highly of instincts and intelligence, I pray to God I’m considered imbecilic on this earth.
So as you can see Mr. Beale, your diatribe and witticisms regarding why "the Mets are douche bags," are benighted and juvenile. Next time you venture out to rant, please leave it to the message board threads where fodder like this is eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You need not give Mets fans any more reason to hate you in return.
Sincerely,
Brendan Bilko
Pricedoutoftheciti.com
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