Yipsy-Ki-Yay, M***********s

In an April featuring shoddy starting pitching and extremely untimely hitting, the Mets’ most eye-catching shortcoming has nevertheless been their truly atrocious defensive play. For lack of a better term, the not-so-Amazins have been suffering from a collective case of the Yips, also known as Steve Blass Disease, after the Pittsburgh Pirate all-star pitcher whose sudden and baffling loss of control is still the stuff of baseball lore (it has been conjectured that Blass’ affliction was “survivor’s guilt” over not having been on the flight that killed Hall of Famer Roberto Clemente).

Daniel Murphy’s play in left field, for instance, has been more reminiscent of Chief (!) Inspector Clouseau than a Major League outfielder, slipping and sliding as if wearing two banana peels for footwear. And the stuff is catching, with normally reliable fielders like David Wright and Luis Castillo booting and errantly throwing balls left and right – or wrong, as it were. Mind you, we are not talking garden-variety errors here; on the contrary, these are gaffes that would make any self-respecting Little Leaguer blush: routine fly balls, including pop-ups, bouncing off gloves, etc.

So, what can the Mets do to stem the tide and avoid further embarrassment? Well, if history is any guide, the Yips need to be nipped in the bud, lest they are allowed to fester and completely obliterate players' confidence. Just ask former Yankee Chuck Knoblauch, a “fundamentally sound” all-star second baseman whose late career was marred by recurring – and spectacular – throwing problems (he once famously hit talking head extraordinaire Keith Olbermann’s mother in the face). In the end, then-Yankees manager Joe Torre consigned Knoblauch to the outfield, thus effectively rendering the latter’s career moribund.

Although Murphy has certainly “distinguished” himself early on, the Mets’ Yips are, as mentioned above, collective – with near-comical errors also having been committed by Ramon Castro, Gary Sheffield, among others – and, as such, they need to be dealt with collectively. This author’s suggestion would be a group-hypnotherapy session with Paul McKenna, Kevin Stone or someone else of their ilk, wherein the Met players, while under hypnosis, would be prompted to recite the following self-affirmation: “I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me!”