Hump Day With Mets Mike: Where "You Shittin me?" has turned into, "Of Course"

Yo....What the hell is going on? And why won't it stop?




I honestly don't know where to begin, or if I even should, but don't worry loyal fans, IM GONNA. This Mets season is like an M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie; tons of terrible surprises, and you always leave super pissed off. (Side note, if you liked The Village I hope your computer blows up at the end of this sentance). The movie starts with the Mets in 1st after about 50 games, WAY TO GO METS!

Then the conflicts begin. DUN DUN DUN! Old man Delgado goes down with a case of broken dentures and a fractured hip. He is prescribed prune juice by the crack Medical Staff the Mets recruited from Devry University.

Immature Speedster Table Setter Jose Reyes goes down with a day to day injury. He is treated with Flintstones vitamins and kisses to his boo-boos and is now out for the year with gangrene.

Then Beltran's knees exploded or something. No treatment given. He's a good athlete, he'll have to heal soon, ya know?

What happened next? Its been a crazy blur. I feel like I took all the Morphene that was meant for the Mets DL.

Lets skip ahead to recent happy times, when our franchise third basemen got sniped in the head by a man so ruthless he goes by only KANE (spelling incorrect). Mets doctors rub Neosporin behind his ears twice daily.

The Mets season is sadder than this Pearl Jam song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvjTo-hRD5c&feature=related

The mood of this movie (or snuff film depending on your preferred level of hyperbole) has been set. Now here is the climax of the film. The last thing that made Mets fans happy has been taken from us. Complete heartbreak has occured. Wahburgers and French Cries are being served.

Now that Johan is out, what do we have? What are we gonna do now? Huh!? Its all fucked up now! What are we gonna do now?!

Nothing. For the rest of this miserable year, we're boned. This movie is sadder than the beginning of Rocky 4.

Now, for the bright side, for the resolution! Who will be held responsible, and what will change? Only time will tell. Actually, nah, Wilpon already did tell, nobody will be and nothing will!

See you for the sequel? I'm leaving this one early....